Life throws some pretty amazing curveballs in your way when you least expect them. Course, if you WERE expecting them, they would not, in fact, be curve balls, right? How we groove with the moves thrown our way not only allows us to develop dynamic skills but also allows us to demonstrate behavior that will enable our children to acclimate to the changes they face. That is true, though, in the moment of stress when you act like a nervous ninny and make EVERY SINGLE wrong move, it is hard to remember.
Well, I did not make a lot of wrong moves, but I did not win the most protective mother of the year award. Sit back a minute and let me tell you the saga of Head Wound Drama…its a doozy.
Head Wounds
Protocol for a head wound is very serious. If you have a child who falls, and contracts a concussion, you are in for quite a ride. In my case, even though I have a lot of experience in first aid, when it is your child you cannot help being a complete rookie. You are nervous, scared, ill prepared and make desperate decisions. Fear does that to everyone, throw a Momma Bear into the ring and watch out. SO…when my sweet daughter FELL OFF A BOAT last week, knocking her eye on the foot cleet and contracting a huge bruise, I did what I was supposed to do….took her to the ER and had a CT. So far, so good.
What’s Next
OK, the CT was clear – BTW if you are ever actually IN the ER for a CT be prepared for a LONG wait. Partly because it takes a while to read the scans, understandable. Also partly because they want to observe your child and make sure that there are no secondary symptoms, also understandable. I promise you, while you are enduring the hours of wait it seems far from understandable…so be prepared. Long wait + extra children + hysterical Mom = recipe for a commercial add for an antacid.
After the CT, when the ER doc says, “Light activity, watch for symptome – no vomiting or loss of consciousness, extreeme pain please, or call 911 and return here if any of those occurs” you think, ok, some acetometephin (NO tylonol or Motrin after a head wound on a child, BTW – they thin the blood and increase a possible bleed, they can also impair the observable affects should more symptoms appear – just good ol acetometephin…and ice, get some ice…and set asside extra couch time, you’ll need it).. ANYWAY, you think you are ok. You think easy, light activity sounds reasonable. Then you head into the next morning and you get slammed.
Back To School
The next day, after the injury, I sent my sweet big black eyed child to her first day of first grade. She was darling, though a little silly as she was walking into things thanks to no peripheral vision (of yeah and a concussion) but off she went. I saw the teacher, explained what happened, said “Light activity, call me if she is sick, in pain or otherwise needs to come home” and I left her there. Later, my husband asked if she would go to soccer and I thought that was not a good idea, but called the pediatrician to be sure. Mind you, this is t he FIRST time I call the pediatrician in the ordeal. We went to the ER, so I never called. The nurse SCARED ME TO DEATH!
“Mrs. Pierson, what do you mean she went to school? Dont you realize that for 2 full weeks she should be on the couch, no activity, no jarring, ice and rest or she could just have a bleed and it could be fatal?” Um..no actually, I didnt. When these moments happen….and they will….it is important to not fly off the handle and start spiralling out of control. Your self examination may go from everything is ok to full on inquisition and hot pokers of guilt and extreeme lashings because you feel like the worst mother ever. Dont do that. OK, try not to do that. First, it wont help. Second, you do, always, the best you can with the information given. Third, well…listen, there will be things you do wrong and things you do right. Lighten up.
Why NOT To Go To PE
So…I high tail it to the school, in full on “I am the WORST mother EVER” mode. Once there, it was the first day remember, I ask what she did. “Momma, we went to PE! It was awesome! I played Dodge Ball” Of course you did! Good Lord in heaven, my guilt-o-meter is about to hit thermal nuclear status….as the teacher walks up and says, “Um…was that not ok?” ARGH!
Remember, it is NOT the teacher’s fault. It is no ones fault. DEEP BREATH. I did that. Then I said, “Um…no more PE till we get a clear from teh DR, ok?” and then I let it out a little. But I am still composed, sorta. The next day I get to the Dr. Because ding dang dong it all I want it straight from HIS mouth, what exactly do I do?
Dr. Says….GOES
OK, every head injury is different. EVERY ONE. Protocol that nurses follow is the most conservative and worst case scenario. I did explain his nurse had me scared to death, and you know, that was not entirely a bad thing. Honestly. While it was scary, it has made me respect head injury’s a little more. Healthy fear is a good thing. SO, listen and learn. The Dr. said definately no PE or soccer for two weeks, but that she could go to school and play at recess. There is no definative advice for a secondary head injury (that means should she get hit again she may not drop dead on the spot…whew…so we have THAT going for us) and that while it is true, motrin and tylonol were out, acetemetephin and ice were good advice. SO…back to school we are, no PE or balls flying in her face (good tip no matter the injury if you ask me) and the swelling is slowly but surely getting better. In fact, her peripheral vision is much better and now when she walks into things, I am not sure it was the bonk on her head or the fact that she is just 6 and a little silly.
Mom Of The Year
This coveted title is a myth. It is elusive and honestly I want to stop striving for it. I want us ALL to stop striving for it. We do the best we can. We love ‘em up, feed ‘em and watch out for ‘em. We follow medical advice (and check on advice that we get ….and avoid believing everything we read on the internet…yikes) and we do the best we can.
IF, however, you DO find yourself with a head injury…and you have been to the ER and had the CT….report it to your pediatrician and follow protocol. There is some good advice on line, but honestly, you will feel better and be more prepared if you just go to someone who knows you and your child and can assess things for you. AFter your week or two or however many you are told off, GET THE SECOND CHECK IN and get the clear before starting activities. COnservative advice is better than winging it. Harder, but better. Let the fear motivate you but not define you, face it and move forward.
Healthy Respect
My daughter is mad she cannot play soccer but she dressed for her game last weekend and brought pom poms and cheered her pals on. YAY. Explaining to her the seriousness of the injury has taught us both valuable lessons. It has taught her to respect advice from professionals and follow directions. It has taught me to respect my sweet wee girlie and see that no matter what she is fearless and will likely over come most obstacles. Straight talk, not avoiding the obvious, is a great way to teach children how to handle serious topics with a healthy respect and a can do attitude.
All that said, I promise you, something else will happen; maybe not today or tomorrow; but something will happen. When it does, I hope I can deal with it with less internal guilt and more external confidence. A little chutzpah goes a LONG way!